A Holiday Hindsight and a Look Ahead

“Beware the barrenness of a busy life”

— Socrates

Christmas chaos. Hanukkah hustle. Kwanzaa confusion. Whatever your particular end of year commemoration, frenzy has become a generally accepted part of it. This holiday season, in particular, has been one of the busiest I’ve had in some time. The funny thing is I did everything right. I traveled to be with family. I baked and decorated cookies with my daughter. I took her to see every light and decoration in town. I threw a festive holiday party. I read the jolliest of short stories and watched classic Christmas movies. I wrapped gifts all evening to ensure our living room looked magical. I cut down my own friggin’ Christmas tree (and by me, I mean my husband…it still counts). And I did it all with the sounds of Pentatonix playing as my own personal soundtrack. We even woke up to a blustery white Christmas. And yet, even with all of that, the Christmas spirit eluded me. I got glimpses of the magic, but mostly I was exhausted.

Christmas ornament by Element5Digital

I spent the last week of December holed up in an Airbnb sans kid gathering my wits about myself. Besides laying in bed until the early afternoon hours and brushing the occasional potato chip crumb out of the bed, I also did a good deal of thinking. While my holiday efforts may have seemed perfectly in order, I clearly missed the mark and an impending new year has a way of making one resolve to make changes.

In the fall, I posted a beautiful picture my husband took of our historic neighborhood. The photo inspired me because everything in it pointed to preparations for deep and replenishing rest. We were entering a season of inherent respite. The leaves did indeed fall, the squirrels undoubtedly reaped the benefits of burying and then digging up food in our front yard, and the snow brought on a kind of quiet. The juxtaposition of this calm natural environment and the chaotic one to which we were just about to expose ourselves became apparent. I began to think about our recent ancestors and what they may have been doing at this time in the past. Their year, revolving largely around agriculture, would have been over at the harvest. As the days became shorter, temperatures dropped, and there was less demanding work and probably also resources that needed to be conserved, they might have valued things like togetherness, safety, warmth, and light. Well, I must have forgotten my own sentiments because my days – filled with frenzy, as usual – did not mesh well at all with the ones just outside my door.

Squirrel in snow by Aaron Clay

As the last of the Amazon Prime boxes were delivered to my house, so conveniently and in only 2 days, gift giving seemed to be even less meaningful and the last twinkle of my holiday season morphed into total absurdity. What was I doing? My kid is three and can see the magic in just about everything. Why buy 50 gifts when she’d be just as pleased with that empty jar of peanut butter I just threw away? Why subject my husband to a frazzled wife or my family to a stressed out member? Do cookies even taste good when they’re baked begrudgingly?

I began to wonder, am I listening to the messages all around me? What are the cues from my world? What is my body telling me? What are my deepest inclinations? Am I in need of excitement or rest? Am I working with or against my environment and what is it requesting of me? What can I do to make this day more special? What does my soul need right now? More snuggles, a cup of tea and a woosaa, some candles and tunes, or simply a nap?

My energy is sacred and I allowed it to be zapped. Who knows how far the ripples of that permeate? As I go into 2018, it will be with an insistence upon expanding my own energy, an ultimate form of self-care and of care for others. I hope to hear the truth that blares constantly and from so many sources. I hope to act on those truths with fervor and commitment and without fear. I hope for more purposeful, more beautiful, more love infused days and holidays alike. Most of all, I’d love to see the effects of ripples like that. Happy New Year, everyone!

Ripples by Levi Xu

Love in all things,

April Eileen

ThanksGIVING

“Let us remember that, as much has been given us, much will be expected from us, and that true homage comes from the heart as well as from the lips, and shows itself in deeds.”

— Theodore Roosevelt

Turkey by Alison Marras

No one loves the dining experience more than me. It just makes me happy. Good food, flowing wine, laughing friends and the atmosphere that makes it all work have made for some of my most beautiful experiences. One would think Thanksgiving – the holiday that revolves around gastronomy – would register at the top of my list of annual jubilees. Nope. Not by a long shot. I’m actually more into Sweetest Day – you know, that made up holiday that just showed up as the ugly stepchild of Valentine’s Day and yet still manages to guilt couples into spending “love” money and to make singles feel generally inadequate.

Seriously, as I sat down to write a seasonal post about Thanksgiving, I thought, “what the hell am I going to write?” We all know about gratitude. We all know it’s good and proper to be thankful for our many blessings. Everyone’s family goes around the feast-laden table, one member at a time, reciting gratitudes before glutiny ensues, right? Nothing new here.

Why do I travel and cook and sweat and cry and bleed (there was an incident involving a knife and a gizzard a few years back…almost took out a thumb)? Is it simply to say thank you? I do that daily anyway. Couldn’t this just be a speed bump on the way to Christmas? I mean gratitude fits right in there with peace on earth and goodwill toward men, right? Couldn’t we treat it like an extension of the larger holiday season rather than it’s own thing (i.e. Thanksgiving is to Christmas or Hanukkah or Kwanzaa or Boxing Day what Akron is to Cleveland)?

I’ve glossed over it long enough. For the last 7 years or so, I’ve been on a mission to live authentically, changing things little by little to hopefully achieve a life that fits me a little better. So it is no surprise that I am probing into Thanksgiving to try to find some meaning, outside of pilgrims and Natives and turkey-hand crafts, that I can really latch onto so it’s real to me.

Give thanks by Simon Maage

It hit me as I was writing and I think I found something that I can love, folks. We call this holiday Thanksgiving, not simply Thanks, nor do we reference the state of Thankfulness or the latent quality of Gratitude. Thanksgiving is the moniker we’ve collectively chosen and I think the giving is important. It’s an action word. I recently heard gratitude described as a consciousness of prosperity. If that is so, then thanksgiving is the process of acting on that consciousness and that seems to open up a whole host of creative ideas! What do you do when you realize how much you have? How do you give thanks? Thanksgiving also implies process. The “give” kind of continues for a bit. Are you aware as you are of giving thanks? What does it feel like? Is it enjoyable? What are the responses? Thanksgiving also begs the question giving thanks to whom? We may reflect on our place in the universe. We may become aware of and love more deeply those in our lives that incite the very prosperity upon which we are asked to reflect during this holiday. Pondering the questions allows us to nurture an atmosphere of connection and togetherness.

Feeling thanks and tangibly expressing those feelings in real time creates a beautiful reciprocal relationship that does not come out of a sense of duty but from the authentic beats of our hearts. The cycle of receiving and giving, giving and receiving continues, now with an awareness that the two are inseparable and each contains the seeds of the other.

Giving a flower by Evan Kirby

Thanksgiving, like other holidays, gives us an opportunity to cultivate the best of our humanity so we can project it more fully all year. It is indeed a holiday worth celebrating and one for which it is certainly worth picking a fight with our modern, commerce-driven lives. I am moved and inspired, guys. I’m stoked to practice. And the gratitude-driven ideas are dancing in my head like sugar plums…oh wait, like cranberries.

Love in all things,
April Eileen

P.S. Check out my upcoming experience, Holiday Pancakes and Pajamas, for an opportunity to enjoy a bit of holiday magic!

Tips for Recreating Dinner and Dessert in the Dark

“People who love to eat are always the best people.”

— Julia Child

At my inaugural experience - Dinner and Dessert in the Dark -  guests learned the art of being present by enjoying delicious food and drinks, ambient music, and great conversation...all while blindfolded! If you couldn't make it, no worries! Check out our tips below for creating the experience at home. And don't forget to take a peek at the gallery.

Wine, mask, and flowers by April Eileen

Blind dining tablescape by Aaron Clay

The Preliminaries

• You can find effective and budget friendly blindfolds here.

• Be aware of your environment. If you opt for an outdoor experience, for example, mosquito repellant and blankets or sweaters may be in order.

• Minimize distractions by asking guests to arrive on time, to take bathroom breaks in advance, and to silence cell phones. If an issue does arise, it's very easy to escort a guest from the table if needed.

• Be prepared to jump in and boost conversation lulls when needed. Sometimes, people can become quiet without the ability to see facial expressions, etc. Remember that attention to food is great so no need to fill every silence…just the awkward ones.

• Depending on the number of guests, you can help them relax and have fun by having enough helpers to direct them to their plates and drinks, clear the table periodically, etc.

The Food

• A theme is helpful in creating the menu. I served clean, plant-based food because I thought it worked very well with the idea of being more mindful and present.

• Simple is good – not necessarily in terms of flavor but in terms of handling. Consider foods that are finger-friendly or easy to serve, relatively non-messy, or pre-cut such as fresh fruit, roasted chickpeas, cauliflower bites or risotto. Spaghetti or tacos might not be good options here. :-) Tastings are great too and mini desserts or tarts work very well.

• Allow extra time as guests will spend more time getting food onto their silverware and into their mouths.

• Ensure that you have extra napkins on hand, as guests will be using their hands to feel where the food is on their plates.

• Minimize the number of glasses on the table to no more than two per guest at any given time. Also, keep glasses half-full to minimize spills and make them easier to maneuver.

When the Blindfolds Come Off

Champagne and strawberries by Aaron Clay

• The Big Reveal: Remember your guests have been in the dark for some time. It’s nice to have something lovely for them to see when they remove the blindfolds. I served champagne in sugar-rimmed flutes on a tray with rose petals (thank you, Pinterest). Another option is to plate each dish and put it on the table for the guests to see (you can eat it later). Also, make sure the room is not too bright to give time for eyes to reacclimate.

• Go through the menu. Of course, one option is to describe the dishes ahead of or during the dining experience, but if your guests are adventurious, I prefer to do it afterward because people are more likely to really taste the food. If they know what they're eating, they may take for granted that they also know what it tastes like.

• Talk about the experience. Your guests will want to share what they tasted and how they felt. It’s such a great time to connect in a real and meaningful way.

Should you decide to take on Dinner and Dessert in the Dark at home or elsewhere, these tips should make for a super enjoyable and totally stress-free experience. Would love to know how it goes!

Love in all things,

April Eileen