A Song of Self-Love

“You yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe, deserve your love and affection.”

— Buddha

A priestess of Love and the Truth of spring rain,

of Beauty ever present and lasting.

A silver moon child, she waxes and wanes,

most alive in the black of night passing.

Woman free by Ashley Byrd

Yet she brings forth the sun, as she dreams in her bed,

of all she must gather for her pyre.

Her words are majestic, her passion blood red,

in her voice, a suggestion of fire.

With the dawn, a new day, let the old burn away,

she awakes with a purpose and plan.

Her heart, open wide, bringing flowers of May

as an offering to life once again.

A Love show and tell - sight, sound, taste, touch, and smell -

she crafts her creative display,

bringing stories untold to the beautiful souls,

sharing God in her colored array.

Fashioned as woman, and woman is she

with the copper-brown skin of ex-slaves.

Wielding Eve-strength of a certain variety

forged in wind and saltwater and waves.

A mother to daughters walking barefoot on Earth,

tiny-toed, and still feeling their lives.

The truth unveiled in the fury of birth,

in giggles, and the blinks of their eyes.

And when she’s alone in her quietude,

she listens and opens to Love,

The Light that gleams and glitters in all things,

The Infinite, nothing else above.

Oh, in awe of serendipitous happenstance,

and the tenderness of humanity,

and blooms, and stars, and the magic of bees,

and her native state, wild and free.

Love in all things,

April Eileen

7 Bits of Beauty to Collect This Spring

“A bit of here, a bit of there... Bits of lovely everywhere.”

— Cynthia Rylant, Thimbleberry Stories

The breeze is faintly dewy. Bird song is welcomed by the golden-pink dawn. Crocuses and snowdrops dot the horizon with pigment, and something like the romantic haze of an impressionist painting begins to form. I watch intently and find myself caught in the slow, exquisitely deep inhale that is the return of Spring.

I wonder at the possibilities available in the Spring, the opportunities to gather up magical moments like flowers in May Day bouquets. Is it possible to collect them - not with our hands, but with our hearts? To let them grow more colorful, as memories tend to do? To experience them again and again whenever we need the season's optimism? To make them our own?

It's certainly an endeavor worth pursuing and a lovely way to be with life as it unfolds. To that end, I'd like to submit to you - the ardently attentive, the deeply devoted, the seekers of all that is simple and sacred - this little list of 7 bits of beauty to collect this Spring. Be inspired.

1. Collect Daydreams.

Dream by Nick Fewings

As the days get longer, there may be fewer night dreams but more time to indulge in reverie during the day. What secret lives might you lead if you weren't leading this one? Would you plan perfect picnics under blossoming countryside trees? Would you be a gypsy fortune teller, connected with the mystical and able to discern the secrets of the Universe? Would you furnish the rooms in your sumptuous fantasy home with antiques and baroque detail? What would you do? Who would you be? Grab a cup of tea and write it all down, all the little details that make your heart skip a beat, all the clues to your deepest desires. Today, you can begin to infuse real life with a little more of what excites you, like a picnic basket, a crystal, or a trip to an antique store. Tomorrow, you can look at your soul on paper when you need a little inspiration. Spring is full of possibilities and so are you.

2. Collect Scents.

Lilac by Tanya Trukyr

Close your eyes and breathe in. Slowly. Deeply. Pull into yourself the fragrant fullness of Spring. Experience, all at once, an infinite number of scents that arrange themselves with such harmony as to deliver the precise perfume of aliveness. Then allow yourself to be intoxicated by the tiniest parts of this brilliant blend. Find and lose yourself again in the faint and delicate, and in the heady and powerful; in the sweet smells of peonies and roses and big clusters of purple lilac; in the aromatic blossoms of white viburnum dusted with hints of pink. Finally, create little compositions of your own. Gather essential oils and take beautiful baths. Spend time in the kitchen with someone you love, creating the fresh, fruity, sweet, bold, and tangy smells of future nostalgia. Be still as the bouquet of the Earth just after it has rained reveals itself to you. Wake up to the smell of new life.

3. Collect Rainwater.

Puddle splash by Josh Calabrese

While it would be sentimental to collect freshly fallen rain for washing your hair - something women have sworn by for generations to soften their locks - many of us reserve that kind of activity for our rosiest-colored dreams. But there are more subtle ways to gather the rain. Return to childhood and catch rain drops on your tongue. Collect a few in your rain boots, as you watch the distorted reflections in the puddles you’ve unsettled. Forget what the humidity is doing to your hair or whether a misplaced drop smudged your makeup and simply feel the wet against your skin. Be reverent of the fury of storms, thunderclaps, lightening, and torrents. Be soothed by the sounds of raindrops on the roof. Be thrilled by the way showers falls from streetlights and make blacktop glow at night. Above all, be in love. And who knows. You might get so caught up, so soaked in rain magic, you end up with some super soft tresses anyway.

4. Collect Rainbows.

Bubbles by Drew Beamer

Stop. Take a closer look. There are pots of gold everywhere right now - inside the bubbles children are blowing and chasing, under the soap suds from the now frequent car washes, in the reflections cast on the floor as the sun streams through a window or hits a glass just right, and for the lucky few, in a dance with the moon. Rainbows are the elusive product of an unseen affair between water and light, both in abundant supply now. And they’re magic. Imagine. It has just rained one of those warm Spring rains and the Earth feels clean. The sun peaks out from behind a cloud. We've missed it so during the winter months and are impatient, even during short rains, for its return. It feels our urgency and begins to beam. Then, wondrously, it channels itself into water suspended in air and fans out in an array of brilliant color. A rainbow is made. Gaze upon this “colored image of the sun,” as Isaac Newton coined it, in all its perfection. Then, be awestruck by the knowledge that there are a million colors you can’t perceive; that what you see is different than what a dog or a butterfly or even the person sitting right next to you sees; that your mind adds nuance and shapes perception to make what you observe even more vivid. Consider there are an infinite number of ways to see a rainbow and your unique experience is yours alone. You were meant to be enchanted. Try capturing some of these special sightings with watercolor or colored pencil. Create something beautiful you can hang up and be reminded of the rainbows whenever it is gray.

5. Collect Self-Care Practices.

Bath with flowers by Heidi Kaden

Spring is a time of renewal. Why not try some new self-care practices or add a little color to the ones you already have? Add a few bright and cheery love songs to your playlist and think of them as odes to you by you. Enhance your meditation practice with some new incense or beeswax candles. Indulge in a decadent bath with rose blooms, mindfully feeling the petals between your fingertips. Taste the freshness of the season, perhaps treating yourself to a fancy dinner and exploring the yummy concoctions being inspired by the local produce. (I once had a citrus salad with fennel, grapefruit, and blood oranges paired with a chilled glass of rosé that was literal joy on a plate). Or simply eat a bowl full of cherries and remember how you used to collect seeds as a kid, carefully putting them in the dirt, without worry of compost or knowledge of time, just hoping for big trees and endless fruit. Let this time of year be an invitation to fall in love with yourself all over again (or for the first time). Keep your self-love story alive, fresh, and exciting.

6. Collect Beautiful Words.

Pride and Prejudice book by Elaine Howlin

We can be surprised and delighted by the words of another any time of year but Spring feels especially ripe for being awakened and inspired. “Come to the orchard in Spring. There is light and wine, and sweethearts in the pomegranate flowers,” as Rumi reminds us. How gorgeous. Collect favorite quotes, lines of poetry, and passages that make your heart sing. Go on a scavenger hunt through a used book store, making sure to take in the smell of times past when you walk in. Explore classic literature, Pinterest boards, and top 10 lists too. Listen carefully for words that stand out during the day - your child’s heartfelt expressions of care, that super creative, Spring-inspired ad copy, the title of an article on the cover of a Bella Grace magazine. These words are the makings of mantras, affirmations, and principles by which to live. They articulate your deepest sentiments and help you remember things your soul already knows.

7. Collect Connections.

Eye Smiles by Jasmin Chew

Can you feel it? Can you sense the shift in energy? Like the blossoms, we too open to the warming sun. We feel lighter, more energetic, happier. The yearning to connect - to ourselves, to our environment, and to the other people on this planet we've missed so much – is unmistakable. As I write this little piece, the season of winter hibernation is just beginning. I have had fun taking myself out of space and time and planting my mind and soul in the Spring soil of a new year. Normally, the Spring season would find us removing coats, exchanging heavier clothes for lighter ones, and eager to be in community. The optimism in the air and perhaps even an April Fools’ joke would produce free laughter - not the unbounded laugh-out-louds of summer but the bubbly giggles of spring. However, a world crisis continues to loom as I write. We are not exactly eager or free but I am steadfastly hopeful. These words may find you holding those you love close or holding space for them from a distance; freely giving out compliments in person or sharing them online; shaking hands or simply exchanging head nods. Whatever the circumstances, offer these gestures in the spirit of Love. Love transcends all and can be felt by all, even in the midst of confusion. Love connects us to each other. Collect the smiles you get in return for the smallest of gestures, especially the subtle eye smiles of mask covered faces. Those are special. Feel this life as much as possible and allow it to feel you. Deepening is still available.

Are you ready to cultivate a deeper, richer, more personal experience? So am I. Let May flowers forever spring from April showers. Let us look forward to them as we do each beautiful moment of our lives. And when they arrive, let us savor them so fully, they become part of us. Let this be our practice now, and every season of every year to come.

Love in all things,

April Eileen

She Dines: Midtown, Corktown, and in My Lady’s Chamber

“Ladiez is pimps too…gon’ brush your shoulders off.”

— Jay Z

Not my usual classic quote intro but necessary, as it was the first thing I saw when I entered the foyer of Lady of the House. I’m going to like this place, I thought for the second time. I first had the impression as my husband pulled into the parking lot and I realized we were across the street from Corktown’s FOLK Detroit (one of my favorite brunch spots) but now the feeling was palpable. Another two steps and I ran into the proprietor of Antietam as he was walking out. “Try the roasted carrots, he urged.” Yep, definitely going to like this place. 

A few minutes later, my husband and I were sitting at the bar only to learn the kitchen was closed. Damn! Naturally, I made a mental note to come back the next day before ordering a glass of wine. All was not lost, however, as we were in the company of a perfectly awesome bartender. I determined not to rate the whole experience based on his friendliness, though, as I had learned my lesson from that kind of naivety in the past (see Apparatus Room post). Between jokes at the bar, I managed to take note of the ambiance at Lady of the House. Pineapples, which I learned are the international symbol of hospitality and welcome, are displayed prominently in various areas. The main dining room is intimate and includes a lovely fireplace. I should also mention that there is a picture of Ryan Gosling on an ottoman in the ladies’ bathroom, and not the romantic Ryan from The Notebook you might want to marry but the sexy Ryan from Crazy Stupid Love you might want to…well, nevermind. I’ve not met you Chef Kate but thank you, kindly.

Roasted carrots, napkin, and photo of Ryan Gosling by April Eileen

I did visit the next day. I was not jazzy, there was no babysitter, and it was not Saturday night. Instead, my mother and I were without a reservation and toting a three year old into a crowded eatery – every restaurant proprietor’s ideal situation, I’m sure. Christian, the general manager who I had been emailing about my book club, was super accommodating nonetheless. If you’re reading this, Christian, know that it takes a village to raise a future gastronome and the foodie force is strong with the little one. She prefers a well-seasoned lamb chop with herbed goat cheese and lightly sautéed kale to chicken nuggets any day. Certainly, she eats dirt and paper too from time to time but hey, it looks promising. Thanks so much for everything!

Anyway, mom, kid and I sat down and ordered a few small plates. While we waited for our food, we struck up a conversation with an “expat” couple sans their tiny tots, just in from their native Chicago. They were jazzy, they did have a babysitter, and based on every available indicator, it was still Saturday night to them. Always a good omen when former cool kids (i.e. cosmo kids before kids) from another awesome city decide to visit an establishment. Just as they were telling us what a must-try the salmon was, our roasted carrots, cucumber carpaccio, and potato donuts arrived. Verdict? Yums all around. The carrots were perfectly cooked and the hollandaise sauce was a lovely compliment, the cucumber with walnut romesco was fresh and flavorful, and what can I say about the potato donuts? Creatively conceived and beautifully executed, the donuts were perfection, and there was some kind of custard upon which they sat that could have been a dish unto itself. Delicious and a confirmation of the fact that I never had a potato I didn’t like (except in potato salad - it should be a capital crime to chill a potato and douse it with mayonnaise).

Potato donuts and fireplace by April Eileen

All in all, we had a wonderful experience. There are good things in store for Lady of the House. I’ll certainly be back and I hear that brunch is afoot too in a few months! Nothing I like better than a good excuse for day drinking. The only thing I might recommend is that they do a bit more with the curated cocktails but I suspect that’s in the works and as long as there is wine and a full bar, I’m happy. Loving this one, guys! Check it out and, as always, let me know what you think!

Love in all things,

April Eileen